We all see and interpret life events through a filter.  Our past, previous experiences and our biases formulates how we see the world and how we respond to it.  I recently saw the movie Trainwreck and loved it.  It was a romance movie of sorts, but boy meets “dysfunctional” girl.  I am always fascinated how in the American culture men are always being vilified and all women are always sugar and spice and everything nice like one of Santa’s helpers.  ( we all know some can be more like “Satan’s Helpers” ) I have a bias in that 90 percent of my male friends are highly educated and professional, yes they make mistakes like all of us, but for most part are very loving men to their women and highly understanding, considerate and always put their significant others, children, society before they would consider their own needs.

The lead actress is Amy Schumer, a comedienne that has been on the accent for the last 8 years, I have been following her a long time and love her sense of humor.  Self depreciating and talks about issues that makes us all uncomfortable. I like comedy that forces us to look at ourselves and laugh. She stars in the movie as a young professional with significant issues that are usually promoted by the American culture to only be a men’s issue.  Multiple sex partners, a drinking problem, awkard in professional and personal issues, all the issues we usually associate with the male in a movie and the forgiving woman he always tries to win back.  In the movie she has all the “male issues”.  Issues with her father, drinking, committing in a relationship and even difficulty holding on to a job. I was impressed with the movie because it was not a “chicks” movie, but a reality movie. The woman is not whisked off to a wonderful romantic place for a fabulous dinner and walks into the sunset.

The movie takes place in New york city, with concrete jungle, subways and cold hard people. it is boy meets girl, but there is a lot of dysfunction to be worked through that only amy schumer can present in a comedic way and yet force you to think about relationships and how dysfunctional we all are..

All the cast of players were present, one of my favorite characters was Amy’s boss, the driven woman whom is  very insensitive and striving to have a successful magazine.  One particular scene she tells Amy that she is great for the job because she is not too attractive and not too skinny, so she is approachable.  Men should never says things like this in the work environment, but when she says it, the comedic timing is fantastic, but it is so real, my usual definition of girl on girl violence. Society always shows us men as the  ones obsessed with women’s looks, however I argue differently, women do far more damage to a woman’s psyche than a man ever could and far more long-lasting. At my age I still hear women complain about the high school bully and the cheerleaders?  Do they ever let that shit go??? that may be why some women carry so much cargo and not baggage…..

The romantic interest of Amy is an orthopedic surgeon, a successful, somewhat nerdy, but good man with lots of patience and also having issues with commitment, he is faced with an interesting ethical dilemma of choosing between patient safety and “the relationship”.  I believe most of us in medicine, especially if we perform procedures on patients have been faced with wanting to be on the top of our game and still maintain our relationships.

The ending is good, probably as you would expect.  What was my most favorite part of the movie??? Amy’s growth, on her journey, she falls low, very low, you appreciate her peaks but also learn from her valleys. I was very moved by the characters ability to learn, grow and become vulnerable in order to make her life work.  It made me perform one simple experiment, I asked myself how many times I have been in any relationship with a woman, either personal or professional and she said the words, ” I am sorry”.  Strange,…. in all my travels and years of living I have never had a woman apologize for their behavior to me?? is that not strange? I find it oddly strange yet revealing, women have a very difficult time admitting failure, especially to the ones whom love them and cherish them. Furthermore, as much as a woman values this in a man, it is hardly spoken or whispered by the very individuals whom expect it so much…

reminds me of a sermon I attended during a marriage. the six most important words…..

I am sorry….

I forgive you….

So ladies, next time you are with your significant other, be vulnerable, truthful and willing to stretch outside your comfort zone,

You just may be surprised by the ending…….