1- We can look back at our past with disappointment and shame, or choose to embrace our past with gratitude. This optic allows us to see our future, with grace or fear.

2- I have met people who have a myopic view of the world; unfortunately, they cannot see the world through any other lens than their own.

3- It took adulthood to embrace my past struggles and pains; those are a part of who I am, and I am proud to own those struggles

4- It takes great wisdom to bring chaos and confusion and convert them to order and clairvoyance.

5- I am not very attracted to women who love or resemble Honey Boo Boo’s mama.

6- I have finally learned to connect words with my feelings and now better understand humanity.

7- The most essential superpower as a cardiologist is to be able to compartmentalize your emotions during your patient’s sudden death, to think quickly, clearly, and decisively, and to execute your next steps to bring them back to life.

8- Sometimes in life, expectations may be the most significant breeding ground for disappointments.

9- In the corporate and academic worlds, many leaders still fail to understand that giving public praise may be far more important than giving a raise.

10- There were many times during my career development when I felt like I traveled alone. I did so frequently that I became comfortable being uncomfortable. I was never in despair because I was not driven by my ego; I was driven by the need to do well for my patients and humanity.

1-The legal system does not reward good behavior; it punishes any behavior that appears suspicious.

2- What you see is what you get? How about you can only know someone by what they let you see?

3. Men or women in leadership positions have an extraordinarily frail ego, like a house of cards or a glass menagerie, one verbal misstep and they crumble

4. Incorporate rest and reflection every day into your life. Working at your highest level during your day is not sustainable. You need to do this because no one in your life or in corporate America is going to tell you to slow down.

5. Embrace struggles in life. These struggles teach you who you are and what you can overcome.

6. Your most painful betrayals will not come from your enemies; they will come from the people you trust the most.

7. In our youth, what people say to us is important, with wisdom. What people don’t say in a conversation is far more important.

8. A woman takes a selfie in the mirror of herself, always looks cute. A man takes a selfie of himself in the mirror; you know, he probably lives with his mother and works at “Bates” motel- creepy.

9. Sometimes, you need to lose a few battles before you win a war.

10. Sometimes, you need to lThere is a version of you created by others that they only want to see. The disappointment of others is when they discover they were wrong.

2- Being in a relationship with a narcissist, a passive-aggressive, or someone with low emotional intelligence is similar to being pulled into a tornado and quicksand. Their inner demons will draw you into their vortex and sink you into the depths of despair that you can only escape being held hostage by releasing the shackles of dysfunction.

3- You cannot shame yourself for becoming the person that others want you to be

4- you will meet people that come into your life, and their eyes will be open, and they do not see you; they hear but refuse to listen, shun them

5- you can’t shame yourself for becoming a person you do not want to be.

6- There are puzzles in people you meet that you will solve that will open doors to puzzles in them that you may never solve.

7-If you work around a significant number of women, you will be judged daily, consistently, and endlessly, get accustomed to it: Do not take it personally; let it go, get over yourself and move on.

8- I believe throughout my life, I have always had a realistic view of myself: I can always be replaced; that is why I strive to be the best version of myself, so that in attempting to replace me, I want it to be as difficult as possible.

9- The emotional pains of our past need to be acknowledged and healed; failure to heal from your past can be transmitted to your spouse, children, and even friends.

10- I have met far too many individuals who value someone else’s life, yet do not cherish their own life.augh to keep from crying.

1. Every man at some point in his life has a sentinel event that he decides: Am I a sheep? A predator or a protector? Once he figures this out, it prepares him to choose his destiny

2. If you have something bad to say about me, tell it to my face and I will respect your courage. Say something bad about me behind my back and you will never forgive me for what I tell you to your face and behind your back.

3. Remember the old saying life is not fair? Since early adulthood, I learned that “life is fair because it’s unfair to everyone.

4. There will be experiences during your life when you feel like you have been torn apart into a billion pieces, put back together, and suddenly you realize you have superpowers and can overcome anything.

5. You will never be good enough for the wrong person.

6. Pain and suffering are a part of human existence. However, it is not the purpose of our lives.

7. When we are young, we believe that life exists as rainbows and unicorns until we learn it’s messy, has many peaks and valleys, and a series of revelations.

8. We experience events in our lives and finalize with a period. We really should place a comma to reflect the continuum of our lives.

9. One of the greatest fears for either spouse in a relationship is having the courage to ask for what you need in a relationship.

10. You cannot reach the pinnacle of any success without knowing the humility of being in the valleys of your journey.

1. There is a version of you created by others that they only want to see. The disappointment of others is when they discover they were wrong.

2- Being in a relationship with a narcissist, a passive-aggressive, or someone with low emotional intelligence is similar to being pulled into a tornado and quicksand. Their inner demons will draw you into their vortex and sink you into the depths of despair that you can only escape being held hostage by releasing the shackles of dysfunction.

3- You cannot shame yourself for becoming the person that others want you to be

4- you will meet people that come into your life, and their eyes will be open, and they do not see you; they hear but refuse to listen, shun them

5- you can’t shame yourself for becoming a person you do not want to be.

6- There are puzzles in people you meet that you will solve that will open doors to puzzles in them that you may never solve.

7-If you work around a significant number of women, you will be judged daily, consistently, and endlessly, get accustomed to it: Do not take it personally; let it go, get over yourself and move on.

8- I believe throughout my life, I have always had a realistic view of myself: I can always be replaced; that is why I strive to be the best version of myself, so that in attempting to replace me, I want it to be as difficult as possible.

9- The emotional pains of our past need to be acknowledged and healed; failure to heal from your past can be transmitted to your spouse, children, and even friends.

10- I have met far too many individuals who value someone else’s life, yet do not cherish their own life.

1. Relationships can be easy or difficult; we decide individually based on our ego, pride, and unrecognized deficiencies in our past that haunt those who care about us.

2. Many people are smart enough to make it through medical school and can become physicians. What separates the great and gifted ones is the ability to withstand the stress and pressure of making life-or-death decisions in seconds to minutes of assessing a life-or-death situation.

3. One of the most rewarding days of my life was when my children were born, and I looked into their eyes and the world disappeared.

4. Fear? “There is nothing in the nighttime that was not there in the daytime.”

5. In some families, trouble comes by the pound.

6. My life could be worse, I could have married Amber Heard.

7. I heard this quote today, and I do not remember the author, so I apply it outside of medicine. When I work from my heart, everything works; when I work from my head, nothing works

8. Sometimes people confuse my kindness as weakness or meekness. In Greek, meek means “strength under control”.

9. Growth comes from struggles in life’s journey.

10. You never know your true, authentic self in life’s journey until you have been pushed to the outer boundaries of your physical, mental, and emotional capabilities.

1. I have found myself increasingly drawn to the younger generation because of my desire to maintain my capacity to adapt to change. Old people stop adjusting to change and complain and bitch too much.
2. I would rather deal with someone who doesn’t agree with me than someone who has their eyes closed.
3. You can’t wait until your life’s pain is gone before you decide to be happy, unless you’re dead.
4. I have only recently learned that I never had dreams of success in my youth or adulthood. I always associated having your dreams come true with good old-fashioned hard work.
5. I still struggle with communication, of telling people what they want to hear, because I am so accustomed to telling them what they need to hear.
6. When we are young emotionally, the words of others hurt us; this breaks us, and we seek retaliation. As we age, we learn to forgive. When we learn wisdom, we just move on.

7. In our current societal norm, the narrative has been regarding self-love, loving yourself. Well, quite frankly, I just don’t know if I am my type.

8. When we are young, we see the world by how it affects us. As we acquire an understanding of the world and our inner being, it’s the effect we have on the world around us..

9. We never look at things as they are, but only want to look at them to change them.

10-At this point in my life, I no longer strive for perfection; I strive for excellence. You need to think about this for a while, the psychology of perfection versus the psychology of excellence. Two views that are diametrically opposed.

1) You know you are in a toxic relationship if you have ever considered enhanced interrogation techniques to get your significant other to speak the truth.

2) Knowledge is really about building a foundational base camp so that by the time you reach the summit of your life, forks on the ascent or potholes are met with confidence.

3) I still do not understand what I have learned from this observation:

A very handsome man walks into a room

Men: “I need to get to the gym, work on my hair, and my suits.

A tall, beautiful woman walks into a room.

Women: “I need to grab my machete out of my Michael Kors handbag, chop off her appendages, and hide the body.”

I cannot wrap my mind around this. Why.

4) Blind allegiance and obedience to a relationship, corporation, or government? What happens when our own values and ethos conflict with institutions? I have never struggled to just say No!!!.

How do we manage? Stay, reject, or leave?

5) There is a difference between what you think, what you feel, and the truth.

Many times in life these do not line up

6) I am on the back nine of my career, looking at what I discovered, and changed in the practice of medicine, the odds of my accomplishments are one in a billion

7) it takes a lifetime of experience to develop insight and self-awareness, yet some people go to their grave never knowing who they are or their values.

8) There have been days in my life when I have walked through the door of my home, and joyful that I am still alive, it’s a triumph

9) Women in corporate leadership are visible, yet invisible ( take some time to think about this).

10) Failure in the early years of your life is the foundation of success in the later years of your life.

1. Physical and emotional traumas can silence an individual or drive them to great heights; only you have the power to decide.

2) When you give permission to someone to make you bitter, sad, or angry, “ they own you. “

3) Sometimes, I am kidding/not kidding. You need to see the look on my face when I say this to you.

4) I don’t remember what age or how many times I remind myself that if you want a behavior to continue, reward it.

5) Diversity in the corporate world is a paradox. The narrative is based on the ideology that race, gender, and sexual orientation are welcome in the corporate world. My views about this have never been in concordance with corporate values. Diversity to me is not about any traditional definition; it’s about the diversity of thought. The underbelly of the diversity of thought is counterintuitive to the corporate culture of having the same opinions, beliefs, and mannerisms to be accepted in the circle.

6) M & M (morbidity and mortality), a tradition in medicine during the informative years of my medical training, no longer exists in today’s world. The event was always held very early in the morning and presented by junior residents to junior and senior faculty. The meetings involved a synopsis of patients’ cases with complications, including deaths. The sessions were intense and required your ability to withstand extreme criticism and ridicule. Only those with the most complicated emotional armor can withstand the level of disapproval by the public pointing out one’s faults. “Wimps need not apply. “

7) A title or a corner office in a C-suite does not guarantee your respect or influence of those who report to you.

8) I have had far too many medical decisions that I have had to make alone. Apparently, I can challenge the central dogma with calculated risk. Over twenty years ago, there was one example of a woman destined to die shortly. Her family made plans to transfer her to hospice. A well-trained friend of mine was recruited to work with me. She asked me why I was starting this woman on medications when she was going headed to hospice to die. No one on any team or the nurses on the floor supported my decision. When requested to present my decision to the team meeting, I was delighted to present my argument.

I knew there was no argument about medical care, so the narrative I decided to present was one of moral hazards? Ethics

“It is our fiduciary responsibility to not only provide healthcare but also reduce pain and suffering as we transition our patients to the afterlife.”

I had my stone face and did not raise my voice as I understand that if I yelled, most people would seek shelter.

So my tone was one of my inner Steve Sherman when he played with the Seattle Seahawks.

“Don’t you ever disrespect me,” I told them I discussed this with our patient; the goal was not to prolong her life; the intent of the treatment was to allow her to breathe more comfortably so that she was not gasping for air but to die a comfortable death with dignity. Forty-eight hours later, she was smiling and breathing comfortably for her transfer to hospice.

9) We all see the world differently. We can also be utterly blind to the world around us.

10) I have been astonished by how many of my women colleagues have described a stare from male counterparts that treat them like puzzles they don’t want to put together.

1) This is an excellent season of my life when I can look at my physical and emotional scars and own who I am.

2) I can now compartmentalize my life:

The first years of my life were the age of innocence

The following years of my life were the age of enlightenment

The next years of my life were the age of darkness

I am in the present phase. How will I choose to acknowledge those years?

3) Do not be upset with how far you went in your career without consideration of the time and work you committed to your success.

4) Memories of our loved ones are eternal. My mother died several years ago; to this day, I still pick up the phone to talk to her when she was not ill. My favorite used to be when she was talking and I said something to her with my dark sense of humor, she was well into her following paragraph when she realized what an inappropriate thing I just said, and she would laugh a side-splitting laugh while I heard her thoughts of “my son is just not right.

5) My most recent epiphany: Relationships with friends, coworkers, bosses, family, and spouses are not created to drain you emotionally, although I take into account the day-to-day struggles of all of the above, authentic functional relationships are more about deriving mutual strength and support

6) Corporate culture is fascinating. They express mission statements and policies for sexual harassment, inclusion, diversity, and retaliation. These principles come in the form of repeated narratives that, when spoken enough times, can institutionalize and radicalize an employee to believe they are true. Yet the very leadership that wrote them frequently violated them.

7) Quitting a job is OK

Moving on is OK

Struggling is OK

Leaving a Toxic relationship or job is OK

Staying in any situation, work or personal, where you are not valued or appreciated?-No Bueno!!!!!!!!!!!!!

8) Someone’s behavior towards me is irrelevant to me, I now understand that my presence can provoke their own internal struggles that have nothing to do with me.

9) We say wonderful things about friends, family and loved ones at funerals. Why is the human condition so programmed to not say these comments at our birthdays? There is so much we want to speak to them, but are reluctant.

10) With my college education, I learned how to learn and realized I knew little. Through life experiences, I learned how to apply knowledge and gained wisdom.

1) We are in an age of immediate gratification. The cost of my success was paid several decades before I became a tenured professor.

2) I recently heard this quote: “ The day you plant the seed is not the day you eat the fruit”.

3) Heard this yesterday: “ Laughs from a friend are better than a kiss from an enemy “.

4) There are a lot of very talented people in life who will never reach their level of success because of their inner demons or external demons that constantly prey on their success.

5) The world would be a better place if we could all agree to take ownership of our own shit.

6) I can’t fix your shit because I have enough of my own shit to fix.

7) Sometimes life is going to kick you in the ass.

8) Brave leaders are never silent about difficult issues or conversations.

9) Faith and hope, not past pains, guide my future.

10) I have a better understanding of who I am by learning and understanding my past mistakes, so that I can live my future with more joy